Why 12-Hour Time is Flawed

I today write to propose that the system that we use to keep time is flawed. Stay calm, for it is only a minor adjustment that needs to be made.

For people of a certain disposition that's not necessarily sweet, (and of course I'm referring to people like me) 24-hour time seems to be the only one worth following. Indeed, it would be fairly hazardous and confusing trying to follow both 12-hour and 24-hour time - not to mention a complete waste of time !¹
It's fortunate, then, that I've stepped into the vast breach that is this flawed system.

For those interested/bored, you may or may not be questioning why I use 24-hour time. Simply, it's simple, and unambiguous.

The opposite goes for 12-hour time. The problem is it seems to be doubling up on information. Let me expound on what I mean.

If we start at midnight - which is problematic in itself - or 0.00, then 12-hour time works fine until we get, funnily enough, to noon. Some scallywag, in trying to come up with a solution, just confused everybody bar themselves by decreeing that there would be an arbitrary line known as the meridiem, assumably referring to noon, the point of which is to signify the time at which the sun is highest in the day. Hence, morning is ante meridiem, or before this point and afternoon, evening and night are post meridiem, or after this point.

There are many problems with this setup.

Wikipedia, as is often the case, has much to say on this matter. The article delineates one part of the issue, viz., assuming am is midnight and pm noon, one runs the risk of the thing occurring to them when one assumes. And, contrary to popular belief, I don't like being made an ass of. (Just for the record of adding to the compendium of what style guides (or is that "styleguides") have to say on the issue, everybody's favourite fair and balanced news media company News Limited says to "use noon and midnight, not 12pm and 12am which do not exist".)

But there is another problem.

I hope we are all on the same page when I declare 11am is a later point in the day than 1am. But what is really being signified here? I pointed out above that am is "before the point of afternoon". So what's happening here is 11am, which we all (hopefully) agreed is a later point in the day than 1am is actually eleven hours before noon, while 1am is one hour before noon. How silly is that?

(Afternoon, evening and night is not a problem, again presupposing noon as the fixed point around which all other times are based, because the measurement of time (1pm, 3pm &c) concords with what is actually happening (one hour after, or post, noon; three hours after, &c).)

What should happen is we should modify the morning hours to concord with what is happening. So while 6am would remain constant, we should change the current measurement to its complementary number. Eg 11am would become 1am, 4am would become 8am &c.

Change is diificult, I appreciate, and I also appreciate that there other issues the thinking person could spend crucial hours on: climate change, not resting until Prime Minister Gillard is guillotined then hanged, drawn and quartered &c.

But the clock is ticking.

   

^{1. This joke was, in fact, not written by Jerry Seinfeld. Not that there's anything wrong with that↩}

Spam email #4

The next spam e-mail on the list is a little, well, dated. Not only is it dated in the sense that I received this email some months ago, it is written, as I'm sure you can see, by "one of the daughters of the embattled president of Libya", viz., the daughter of Muammar Gaddafi, who at the moment is probably the opposite of "embattled" - one of the easiest things to do - and hardest, I guess - is to be in a state of non-being. Anyway, I provide the following for your entertainment procrastination.

****

I NEED YOUR URGENT ASSISTANCE! I am Miss.Ayesha Gaddafi, one of the daughters of the embattled president of Libya, I am currently residing in one of the African Countries1, unfortunately as a refugee. At the meantime,my family is the target of Western nations led by Nato2 who wants to destroy my father at all costs. Our investments and bank accounts in several countries are their targets to freeze. I have been commissioned to contact an interested foreign investor/partner3 who will be able to take absolute control of part of the vast cash available to private account with my late brother who was killed by NATO air strike, for a possible investment in your country. If this transaction interest you4, you don’t have to disclose it to any body because of what is going with my entire family, if the united nation happens to know this account, they will freezing it as they freeze others so keep this transaction for yourself only until we finalize it.I want to transfer this money into your account immediately for onward5 investment in your country because I don’t want the united nation to know about this account.6 Therefore if you are capable of running an establishment and can maintain the high level of secrecy required in this project7, kindly respond with the following information for details of the project. 1. Your full names and address 2. Your private telephone and fax numbers8 3. Your private email address 4. Age and profession Best Regard9, Miss.Ayesha Gaddafi.

1 When capitalisation is done erratically, as it is done here and is also a phenomenon of 17th and 18th century English (one only needs to read the Preamble of the American Declaration of Independence to see what I'm talking about), it annnoys me to no end.^↩
2 Why "she" changes from the correct writing of Nato to NATO later on is unclear. Standard journalistic practice - and therefore good English - in News Limited - although the Guardian is one prominent non-Murdoch publication to follow suit - is to use lower case in the appropriate places if the acronym is said as a word. "Nato" - the North Atlantic Treaty Organisation - is one example and Opec - the Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries - is another.^↩
3 If "she" wants me to invest a large sum of money - which presumes "she" wants it back at some stage - wouldn't "she" bother to check if I have experience in the whole investing thing (which I don't)? Far out, every company expects experience in an applicant (reminding me of the old chestnut that to have experience to sell, one must gain experience first). Poor business acumen and practice.^↩
4 Fascinating use of the subjunctive. The subjunctive is rarely used in English - although more popular in the Romance languages, especially Italian. The subjunctive is used to express hypotheticals, and works well in "if" formulations, as here. Or it could just be a typo. ^↩
5 Intriguing debate on whether it should read as "onward" or "onwards". The starting point for this debate would be to look at the Americanisation (or should that be "Americanization"?) of words, starting after the War of Independence was won in 1783. Anglo words tend to have the "s" at the end, while Americanised ones drop it off. The classic case is of "maths" (Anglo) against "math" (Americanised) as an abbreviation of "mathematics". Or, again, it could just be a typo.^↩
6 This paragraph doesn't have the lucid feel of previous ones. The mind boggles at the drop in standard.^↩
7 Well, that ship has sailed.^↩
8 Is fax still a thing?^↩
9 So "she" purports to be able to give me "vast cash" and yet she is so stingy she gives me only one "regard"? Obviously fake^↩

Podcast promotion time

G'day folks,

Great to be here, and it's great you could join me as I announce my exclusive podcast with good friend Adam Morris*. It's been said I have a good face for radio (or audio, whatever) - probably by me - and listening to it is the way to prove this theory. So now, not only can you read my inane thoughts, you can hear them as well. At least they're countered by the sagacious views of my friend Adam.

Episode 1, which you can listen to by following this link, covers the Arab-Israeli conflict as it occurred in the week, as well as the announced Royal Commission into alleged abuses of children by priests. Hefty matter, indubitably.

We hope you not only tune in, but also leave comments/feedback/criticisms/assassination attempts and also what you had for breakfast this morning.

Enjoy.

*Were it not for the technological savviness of Jason Pace, it is doubtful there would be a podcast at all (obviously, some may view this as a good thing). So here's cheers Jason, and thanks for all your help.  

Races that Stop Two Nations

Ah, is it November already?

The termination of pedagogy for another year (God, I love uni), the promise (frequently broken by the Melbourne weather-gods) of warmth and the expectation (nominal, at least) that the upcoming summer will provide a lifetime's worth of memories (this expectation of course clashes with the fact that the predictable over-indulgence will prevent any meaningful memories from being remembered).

But enough with the horizon-gazing. Events in the very near future demand attention.

Two particular events have been fixed by my attention, of which both provide punters with a spectacle and of which both happen to fall on the same day.

I refer of course to the Tuesday, November 6, 2012 runnings of the Melbourne Cup and the US presidential election (in order of priority, naturellement).

The following is a guide to how to survive/embrace fully one or both events.

The Melbourne Cup (a public holiday, at least in Melbourne and some parts of rural Victoria, and apparently also in Canberra for federal bureaucrats (under the title of "Family and Community Day", which seems meaningless enough)):

The 2012 running of the Melbourne Cup will be the 151st occasion in which the good ladies and gentlemen of the community will turn up to a track in Flemington, in Melbourne's inner-west, to watch a few horses go by for just over three minutes (the fastest was - trivia buffs take note - Kingston Rule in 1990, at a time of 3min 16.3s) before getting completely sozzled on cheap champagne, before taking an overpriced taxi or an overfilled train carriage back to home base.

If you decide instead to watch from home instead, then you too can still get completely sozzled, with the help of some fun games, because, really, no one watches the horse racing for the horses, and, besides, the coverage is sure to be so tedious that forgoing even a little liquor seems inhumane, even if it is only one o'clock in the afternoon.

Most of the fun is based on the following principle: consider that Channel 7's purported coverage of Cup Day goes for seven and a half hours. Given an average race time of three minutes - there are those that will go for fewer - and given there will be about six or seven races (producing 18 to 21 minutes of racing time), it leaves Bruce McAvaney and his crew (wouldn't Dennis Cometti make a marvelous race caller?) somewhere between seven hours and nine minutes and seven hours and 12 minutes of coverage to fill. Let's not be mean,  but when you have to provide material for that amount of time, well, some of it will be less entertaining, informative and instructive than what would be expected. It is these moments that we can exploit for our own amusement and inebriation.

The Cross: Bruce McAvaney can't talk for all of the broadcast, of course, so he has to recruit some friends to assist him in the process. Be on the lookout for crosses with various "personalities", each one more dubious than the last. Some of the categories of crosses, for which you can reward yourself for staying the course by having a tipple, include:

• The Fashion Cross: I'm not the biggest fashionista in Melbourne, or even in the western suburbs, or even on my street, or even in my house, but at the same time I'm not the worst-dressed either - I mean, I know how to appreciate, for example, a decent pair of button-fly jeans when I see one. You tend to see two types of interviewees in this cross: one is the preening model, so self-conscious by her three minutes of fame, she - or he - hurriedly namechecks the manufacturer of her wears, perhaps anticipating the real or imagined cheque coming her way for her role as advertiser. The other type is the outlandishly-costumed punter, perhaps cross-dressing, and usually with sunglasses on to add to the absurdity of the outfit. This type can typically be seen - and heard - yelling boorishly - in their own minds, excitedly - to camera or to various others. Forensic studies have concluded alcohol is a predominating factor in the latter example.
• The Betting Cross: Forget about horse racing, betting is the sport of kings in this country. Apparently by the time the Cup is run and won (a phrase you'll hear a lot more of between the winning of the race and the sports update on the 6pm news), we'll have spent "more than $60 million" on various wagers. Point men, at the risk of being accused an advertorial agent myself, would be Adam Hamilton and racing scion Tom Waterhouse. Have yourself a double tipple if you manage to spot that token woman of the industry, Julia Gillard Kelli Underwood Chelsea Roffey Jaimee Rogers. Another game can be to see which titles have, in the smallest point, the words "Gamble responsibly". Also raise your elbow whenever the coverage cuts to the betting guy who's next to the totalisator, which is also known as the Machnine with the Funny Knobs and the Horses' Names on It (that's not the scientific name, obviously). In this age of digital display, it makes no sense to utilise what is a pre-digital solution. I guess it all has to do with eating up time (see above).  
• The Cross-Promotion Cross: Various folks are getting prepared for Season 2013, and for once I'm not talking about football. No, Channel 7's 2013 season launch was held a few weeks back (what do you know, reading the society pages of the various papers is informative) and so be prepared for the lather of cross-promotion that will be unleashed. Forget about the advertisements, what you should be fearing are the interviews - oh my God, how many? - of Channel 7 "stars". "Dancing with the Stars", the "X-Factor", "Australia's Got Talent" - the list goes on and on. Do try and be out of the room whenever a cross of this type fills your screen. 

The On-the-Ground Interviewer: Will probably be a woman (for the "softer" and more human touch) and somehow connected to the racing industry, no matter how tenuous the link (the wife's sister's daughter of the trainer, maybe?). Hopefully, the interviewer doesn't follow the path of the BBC woman in charge at Royal Ascot, who to my eyes seemed well on the way to tipsiness (it wouldn't have been because she was enjoying herself, of course not). If the Channel 7 woman in the same role says or does indiscreet on camera, reward yourself by joining her on the road to over-indulgence.

The Blatant Product Placement: During presentations, comperes (on Nine last Saturday it was Tony Jones) make reference to the name of the cup before officially declaring the winning jockey. This is fine. What irritates me is the inane speech that some representative (probably - God forbid - a flack, or some PR spokesperson) of the sponsor of the race makes, as if to prove his or her self-importance to the uncaring crowd. I'd like to think the compere, too, reserves a corner of their heart for what must be the unadulterated hatred that they must surely feel for a world which makes its money by engaging in deceit and fraud. I'd like to think that, but then I'm probably just being edgy.

So yeah, that's my take on Cup Day. So what if I've blown my bridges to the racing media industry? It's not like I want to make as many connections as possible as I make my way into the industry, or anything.

Enjoy your drink(s) while watching the horses go by, because you won't be the only Melburnian to do so.

****

The US presidential election will be held on the same day (the result will be known around 11am Wednesday in Melbourne).

In a two-horse race (geddit?), it seems no one has any real idea, and can just make up their own facts on the issue.

No, to be fair, we can draw some conclusions about what has been occurring in the land of the free. If we were to take the FOX news view, anyway, about the campaign, it would be something like this: every other notable news organisation is liberal, biased, subjective and hopelessly partisan (read: Democratic). Its own take is strictly "fair and balanced", and it's not like Messrs Murdoch and Ailes haven't force-fed viewers with their own ideology. Of course.

In any case, let's try and understand what will happen on Tuesday, November 6, 2012 in the United States of America (except of course in the political capital of the world, Washington, DC - more on that in a moment).

The channel through which the President and Vice-President are decided is known as the Electoral College. There are therefore two elements of voting that takes place: the electoral vote and the popular vote. the direct and indirect means, respectively.

The electoral vote is decided by electors, who, strangely enough, form, through those 50 United States, except the territories and DC, the Electoral College. The Electoral College has a member for each senator of a state (so 2) plus a member for every representative. 

Confuzzled? The point is that the popular vote leads to the electoral vote. If enough people vote for Democratic electors, then the state will pass its votes to the Democratic candidate - in this case, of course, President Barack Obama.

Technically, the Electoral College meet on a state-by-state basis on the Monday after the second Wednesday in December - this year, the 17th - but the reason why I say a result will be known almost straightaway is because there shouldn't be any surprises, like an elector using the old bait-and-switch and flip-flopping on their vote.

My tip, because I know you're all dying for it: Both candidates are not inspiring at all, because Barack Obama has nowhere to go on the "Hope" and "Change" platform from 2008 and Mitt Romney is hardly an inspiring alternative. There is nothing wrong with being successful in business, but economic rationalism is hardly a good set of principles to govern by ("Rappin' Ronnie Reagan" would of course disagree). As I said (from the relatively calmer waters of Australia, I guess) to a friend, and I'm rather fond of this quote: "Obama is the President that America needs, but Romney is the President that America deserves."

I'm also keen on the results of the congressional elections, because it determines what the President will have to work with. My other plug is to look for how third parties, like the Libertarian Party or Green Party, fare.

Final guess: Obama will just pip the post because a) of a prevailing "better-the-devil-you-know" attitude that probably got Bush re-elected in '04 and b) natural disasters like the "Frankenstorm" Sandy tend to favour incumbents, and because Obama didn't stuff up rescue efforts (one imagines a man, short not only in stature, but also in dignity and humanity, drinking whiskey somewhere in Texas, cursing a fellow President for getting natural disaster rescue right). Another contributing factor is that a sitting Republican Governor in Chris Christie endorsed Obama's efforts. Traitor or not, Christie is looking towards the big picture, and you should expect to hear and see a lot more about him in the run up to 2016.

****

While arguably more important, it's probably the case that proportionally fewer people care about the presidential election. And while a political horse race affects the public more than a literal one, that's fine. What's also fine is that the horse racing enthusiasts get a day off, while voters in the most significant democratic state in the world, in exercising their right, do not. Yep, we certainly have our priorities right. 

3000 gather in Melbourne to demand equal marriage

3000 people gathered in the Melbourne CBD yesterday to demand equal marriage rights for the LGBTIQ community.

The demonstration came on the eighth anniversary of the Howard government legislating marriage as between a man and a woman only.

Many speakers addressed a colourful crowd at the State Library, including the federal member for Melbourne Adam Bandt.

Mr Bandt told listeners it was time for parliamentarians to catch up with the views of their electorates.

"The mood in the population has changed," the Greens deputy leader said to the crowd.

"People are very relaxed about two people who love each other getting married, regardless of their gender or their sexuality."

Addressing the faithful: Adam Bandt gives his oration

Flying the flag: Just as many first-timers came as "repeat offenders" did

It's true: Some signs were jocular ("Bisexuality doubles your chances of a date on a Saturday night"), but others had a more serious tone

Mr Bandt, among others, cited a statistic that showed 64% of those surveyed were in favour of gay marriage - an increase from the 34% of respondents at the time of the effective ban eight years ago.

Another speaker, Doug Pollard - a broadcaster for Joy FM - said marriage is a "profound right" but must be fought for long and hard.

"The fight for gay rights is one of those, unfortunately, that will never be over because we are a minority", Mr Pollard said.

"Marriage however is not just about finding a partner, it's a lot more."

"It's about binding ourselves into the whole of society in one fabric."

The people's voice: Gay rights champion Doug Pollard delivers his speech

Equal Love Convenor Ali Hogg said while change in attitudes towards gay marriage since 2004 were a positive, people still needed to be committed to the cause.

"We want this discrimination [towards the LGBTIQ community] to be gotten rid of out of Australian law, once and for all," she told cheering supporters.

"And once we get this, it's going to be because of people like you and me, coming out time and time again, taking a stand against these discriminatory laws."

The speeches were followed by a march - which a police officer later told me had no problems - from the State Library to the Old Treasury Building, where a mock mass wedding was to be celebrated by "dissident" priest, Father Greg Reynolds.

On being given a rock star reception, Fr Reynolds said while it was a "joyful event", it was a "solemn act" that he was to perform.

To conclude the event, Anthony Wallace - also from Equal Love - said another protest would be held on November 24, to which he wanted 10,000 people to turn up.

"Dissident": Father Greg Reynolds

Road to equality: Protestors on the march

Fair point: As compelling as any an argument to legalise gay marriage 

Radical: The haughty and inscrutable Sir Redmond Barry was left behind at the State Library and missed out on the fun part of the afternoon  

Dirty about Harry: A Poem

Harry Jenkins, former Federal Speaker and Member for Scullin, today announced his resignation from Parliament, effective at the next federal election.

I find this significant because he was the voice of the Parliament when I started to become interested in these matters. He had the good grace, humour and, ultimately, authority that any good umpire needs - being Speaker of Federal Parliament is probably one of the toughest umpiring gigs in the land. Anywho, a little poem is below, a poor tribute to his contribution to Australian politics.

****

Mister

Vision

His innocence

For the house of cards all that

Or not

For that

Data steering 

Denied wasteful

Statement specimen for that one largest loosening up one

For them

Wanna

Format but without water

Then

Financed

Cast all

Five years' time

Half the rate is sixty feet to the story reason usage of the time to learn

**** 

Jon

Jon,

Did you fail to recognise me as you got off the train, as I have failed to recognise so many others?

Cold Sores

So, yeah, I'm sick with a cold. Qu'elle surprise.

I find this highly significant because, heretofore, I had spent all winter boosting my weak-as-wet-cardboard immune system with more fruit than usual. Because you must ask, and because I must tell you, I overcame my aversion to mandarines and discovered the usefulness of apples as a quick breakfast snack - notwithstanding the fact that, more often than not, these apples will be the only thing I have eaten until dinner (poverino, &c).

Sure, it had been going around - last year, there was some sort of pandemic in August (exams were in November) at my alma mater that I may or may not have inadvertently caused - but I felt pretty secure this time around. Sure, my dear, dear brother had it - and still does - but, au contraire to what I told at least one acquaintance - it was not really his fault. (Ah, qu'elle poseur!)

I'm a man undone by stress.

This time, the stress was due to the "peeps" at RMIT (I'm refraining from using a more defamatory word) telling me certain things that I really didn't want to hear. That, and the fact I was getting screwed over by technology again - tehnologija, as my Croatian grandfather says. 

So, as Lenin wrote in what was almost certainly another context, what is to be done?

Well, I base my recovery (it's fairly scientific) on a few principles:

• Staying warm: That means wearing an absurd amount of layers plus a ridiculously-long scarf in the hope of inducing sweat, which apparently quickens recovery. That also means having a little nightcap just before bedtime. However, I'm not talking about beer, which is only 4-5%. No, you need to have the heavy stuff, so you get to sleep fairly, plus have funky Technicolor© dreams at the same time.  It is fairly inauspicious, then, that I have A Panic at the Disco's album "A Fever You Can't Sweat Out". Maybe it works as some sort of reverse omen. Who knows?
• Eating a, frankly, absurd diet: I mentioned fruit above, but this is just half part of the plan. The other half relates to eating the most fattening, unhealthy food possible. Examples are chocolate, take-away and others. It goes beyond, y'know, becoming obese, because what happens during a cold is you generally tend to eat less - because, y'know, you feel like what second US President John Adams would have described (in another context) as a "crapulous mass" - and so you lose a bit of mass. The important thing during a cold is to dramatically increase the calorie-to-exercise ratio - by dramatically increasing the amount of calories.
• Taking medication: This may sound obvious... and it is! Go, go, go on the paracetamol or ibuprofen. Of course as a maximum, you only really need to pop those pills twice a day. I find having paracetamol in a tea (Lemsip &c, with honey and lemon naturellement) in the morning one day and a pill the other varies things up a little (or tea morning, pill lunch &c). (Authorial note: The didact is getting too strong even for me).

There are some positives:

• Being a drain on the system: Basically, with colds men - and me as well - can use this debilitating illness as an excuse for the indolence that they already possess. Do the dishes? Nope, sorry. Cook tea? Don't want to make everybody sick. Do work? I'd rather curl up in front of the telly, thanks (the worst is during the day, when all you get is Ready Steady Cook and movies from when you didn't know they were able to make them). You also are able to moan constantly without being called out on it. The only other time in which it would be acceptable would be singing a Bob Dylan song. 
• Facial hair growth rate slows down: Notwithstanding my ever-diminishing masculinity, the fact that it takes slightly longer to get the point where I resemble a metrosexual caveman pleases me no end (puberty hasn't hit me yet, folks). 

So, yeah. That's my narcissistic contribution in the best Montaignean tradition for today. There's an odds-on chance this cold will prove to be an extremely virulent strain of, like, swine flu or it could turn out to be completely harmless.

****

There is something deliciously ironic in the fact that, while completely healthy, I am too lazy to actually so I do the whole spam email thing, but with this cold I get this whole artistic (that really should be in quotation marks) inspiration thing and type out a thesis on paracetamol. C'est la vie.     

Spam email #3

Flip flop. That's the sound a man of contradictions - viz., me -  makes whenever he puts pen to paper or hand to keyboard. It is in this spirit then that I present spam email the third, with striking and pithy exegetical analysis.

****

My Dear,


I know that we haven't known or come across each other before considering the fact that I sourced your email contact through the internet in search of trusted person who can assist me urgently and save my life.


My name is Mirinda Prez John 24 years old female from the Republic of Kenya, the daughter of Late Mr Prez John. My late father was a Kenyan lawyer and human rights activist who was the Chief Executive Officer and Communications and Advocacy Officer of the Oscar Foundation Free Legal Aid Clinic Kenya (OFFLACK). My Father was brutally shot dead on Thursday 5Th March 2009 after a government spokesman accused their group of aiding a criminal gang. What led to the cold blood killing is still unclear but I know that my father life was the target. You can read more about my father in the bbc link below. http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/792787 3.stm


I am constrained¹ to contact you because of the maltreatment which I am receiving from my step mother. She planned to take away all my late father's treasury and properties from me since the unexpected death of my beloved Father. Meanwhile I wanted to travel to Europe, but she hide away my international passport and other valuable documents. Luckily she did not discover where I kept my father's File which contained important documents. Now I am presently staying in the Mission in Burkina Faso. I am seeking for long term relationship² and investment assistance. My father of blessed memory deposited the sum of US$ 5.7 Million in one bank in Burkina Faso with my name as the next of kin.
I had contacted the Bank to clear the deposit but the Branch Manager told me that being a refugee, my status according to the local law does not authorize me to carry out the operation. However, he advised me to provide a trustee who will stand on my behalf.I had wan ted to inform my stepmother about this deposit but I am afraid that she will not offer me anything after the release of the money.


Therefore, I decide to seek for your help in transferring the money into your bank account while I will relocate to your country and settle down with you. As you indicated your interest to help me³ I will give you the account number and the contact of the bank where my late beloved father deposited the money with my name as the next of kin. It is my intention to compensate you with 40% of the total money for your assistance and the balance shall be my investment in any profitable venture which you will recommend to me as have no any idea about foreign investment.⁴ Please all communications should be through this email address only for confidential purposes.


Thanking you a lot in anticipation of your quick response.⁵ I will give you details in my next mail after receiving your acceptance mail to help me.
Yours s incerely,
Miss Mirinda Prez John.

---

---

1 "Constrained"? Gee, it hardly makes me inclined to give money I don't have to a total stranger if that stranger is just "constrained" to get in touch with me. Surely the whole point is to build a connection of pseudo-friendship, which doesn't work with "constrained"^↩ 2 If only entering into relationships were this easy... (Cue joke about all women costing the earth)^↩ 3 I must have had a few cold ones, because I can't remember this being the case. Either that, or I've given my email to some dodgy websites. You decide.^↩ 4 Good luck with that. I have little to no knowledge - or care - in any good investments prospects. Finance is a mug's game, and I always wonder why any scrupulous person would bother with the sharemarket, which is basically a crook's haven. If I invest, it will be in something reliable - and more importantly, long-term - like land or commodities. E'en so, it seems that "green energy" is the big buzzword of the business pages these days.^↩ 5 It's been more than a month since I got this email, so it can hardly be considered timely.^↩

Separated-at-Birth-ness: Its Theory and Practice

Ever noticed how people look alike? Of course you have.

****

It seems to me that on every second day when I'm out and about, I think I see somebody I know, or used to know, or am able to have an amiable conversation with which doesn't end in an argument or a dissolution of some kind. The problem is when, upon closer inspection, the prima faciê friend turns out to be a total stranger.The good news is my reservedness will prevent my grossly misidentifying somebody. Misanthropy has its strong points too, I guess.

Gotye: Not dead, but dead tired of anonymous hacks making facile references to his work.

****

Why is this the case? Here follows a theory I have developed to explain the phenomenon of strangers looking alike; that which we call the "spitting image" of somebody else. 

Two points: 

1) I have no basis in any anthropological expertise of any kind, so take it or leave it as you please. I only appeal to common sense and logic in this piece - and in fact most of my serious articles - but don't expect any jargon to be used. At worst, this is just supposition and hypotheticals. 

2) Inb4 being called racist. I am an internationalist, and this article should prove that.   

****

The human face is strange, in a way. It is eternal - the one abiding sign of humanity - and yet it can be so confusing. Confusing in that its manifestations can be interpreted in a hundred different ways, and yet these are all variations on a theme. Looks, glances, frowns, smiles - who hasn't got it wrong at some stage?

But it goes deeper than that. The combinatorics of the human - why people look same-same, but different-different - is itself a variation on a theme. That theme of course is identity, and does assert itself when people mistake others for other others (yes, I know, no need to be Derridean and thus make it more confusing.)

As above, this is supposition. But surely there are aspects of the human face that make it so mistakable. I am writing of course of ratios (yay!)  - chin to head, lips to mouth, cheek to head and others - and distances - eye to eye, nostril to nostril and lip to lip &c. For as da Vinci recognised in Vitruvian Man, the person is able to be quantified. The face is the same, and to give this post some chutzpah, I propose the following experiment: a researcher goes into the city, does whatever, and when they happen upon a person who looks like a person they know, drag both (the friend lookalike and the friend) back to the lab (with consent, of course) and measure said ratios and distances. I propose that, given proper means to statistical petulance, the said ratios and distances will come back close enough, if not the same. 

Simply put, similar facial features make, upon first glance, the friend lookalike and the friend look undifferentiable.     

****

To the question of race, and it's valid enough, I put forth this response. Facial features have no knowledge of race - whether it's just a construct or not - and are there of their own accord (when I write that, obviously I refer to birth and growth, nature and nurture &c.). I would suggest similar or identical facial features transcend racial boundaries. It is just the combination of these features that make people look similar. 

****

This facial similarity, this separated-at-birth-ness goes a long way to explaining the appeal in having "separated at birth" columns in newspapers around the globe. It's a widespread phenomenon, so it's easy to relate to, plus it fills in space between the ads (sorry, that's a crisp one from one of my journalism lecturers).

****

One quick example to demonstrate (in fact, this was to be all of this article originally) is the facial similarity between my two favourite politicos, Tony Jones and Glenn Beck. Part of the appeal of this exercise is, given their ideological polarities, to raise the hypothetical that they may have the same mum. It more than likely isn't the case, but it's fun anyhow. 

 Tony Jones and Glenn Beck: Lookalikes, but polar opposites, ideologically speaking

****

If this article seems weird or esoteric or arcane or insane, then yes, I enjoy all of those words. It just seems to me there's a reason why strangers look similar, and this is my contribution to the discussion, however non-existent it may be.

****

Spam e-mail #2

Just a crisp little one here - we'll leave a tortured arts student (not me!) to provide the exegesis.

****

Hello

Am miss Juliet ,interested in you,and wish to have you as my friend,for a friend is all about Respect, Admiration and love passion alsofriendship is consist of sharing of ideas and planing together,i intend to send you my picture for you, if you reply me.thanks from Juliet.

Spam e-mail #1

So, I've been getting a bit of spam recently. What's new? It actually is new for me - heretofore I thought it was some mythical creature, like carbon dioxide or something. This is just filler, but it is still entertaining in its own right, and it's a wonder the Nobel Committee hasn't awarded a prize in literature for some of these people's efforts. Probably because the relevant texts are languishing in the Junk folder.

****

FROM THE DESK OF MR. MUDI FEEZ,
THE SENIOR AUDITOR IN CHARGE
FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT,
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA).
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO.

Please reply through my private email address (mudifee2009@gmail.com)

DEAR FRIEND,

GOOD DAY.

I PRESUMED THAT ALL IS WELL WITH YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.PLEASE LET THIS NOT BE A SURPRISED MESSAGE TO YOU BECAUSE I GOT YOUR CONTACT INFORMATION FROM THE INTERNATIONAL DIRECTORY FEW WEEKS AGO BEFORE I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU ON THIS MAGNITUDE AND LUCRATIVE TRANSACTION FOR OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE SURVIVAL IN LIFE. MOREOVER, I HAVE LAID ALL THE SOLEMN TRUST IN YOU BEFORE I DECIDED TO DISCLOSE THIS SUCCESSFUL AND CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION TO YOU.

I AM THE SENIOR AUDITOR IN CHARGE OF FOREIGN REMITTANCE UNIT OF OUR BANK AND I DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU FOR THIS FINANCIAL TRANSACTION WORTH FOURTEEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND US DOLLARS (14.5 M) FOR OUR PRESENT AND FUTURE SUCCESS. THIS IS AN ABANDONED FUND THAT BELONGS TO ONE OF OUR BANK FOREIGN CUSTOMERS WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY THROUGH PLANE CRASH FEW YEARS AGO.

MEANWHILE, I WAS VERY FORTUNATE TO COME ACROSS THE DECEASED FILE WHEN I WAS ARRANGING THE OLD AND ABANDONED CUSTOMERS FILE IN OTHER TO SIGN AND SUBMIT TO THE ENTIRE BANK MANAGEMENT FOR AN OFFICIAL RE DOCUMENTATION AND AUDIT OF THE YEAR AGAINST 2012.

INFORMED CLEARLY THAT IT WAS STATED IN OUR FOREIGN BANKING RULES AND REGULATIONS WHICH WAS SIGNED LAWFULLY THAT IF SUCH FUND REMAINS UNCLAIMED TILL THE PERIOD OF TEN YEARS STARTED FROM THE DATE THE BENEFICIARY DIED, THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED INTO THE BANK TREASURY AS UNCLAIMED FUND HOWEVER, IT IS NOT AUTHORIZES BY THE RULES GUIDING OUR BANK FOR A CITIZEN OF BURKINA FASO TO MAKE THE CLAIM OF THE FUND UNLESS YOU ARE A FOREIGNER NO MATTER THE COUNTRY.

SO THE REQUEST OF YOU AS A FOREIGNER IS NECESSARY TO APPLY FOR THE CLAIM AND TRANSFER OF THE FUND SMOOTHLY INTO YOUR RELIABLE BANK ACCOUNT AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED.WHEN THE FUND IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT 35% WILL BE FOR YOU IN RESPECT OF ALL YOUR ASSISTANCE FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AND PROVISION OF THE BANK ACCOUNT WHERE THE BANK WILL REMIT THE FUND, 60% WILL BE FOR ME BEING THE PIONEER OF THE BUSINESS WHILE THE REST 5% WILL BE SHARED TO RESPECTABLE ORGANIZATIONS SUCH AS CHARITY AND THE DESTITUDES HOMES AROUND US IN THE WORLD.

IF YOU ARE REALLY SURE OF YOUR TRUSTWORTHINESS, ACCOUNTABILITY AND CONFIDENTIALITY ON THIS TRANSACTION CONTACT ME AND ACCEPT NOT TO CHANGE YOUR MIND TO CHEAT OR DISAPPOINT ME WHEN THE FUND IS TRANSFERRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.SO REPLY FOR THE ASSURANCE WITH YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO FACILITATE EASY COMMUNICATION. AS SOON AS YOU REPLY, YOU NOTIFY ME SO THAT I WILL LET YOU KNOW THE NEXT STEP AND PROCEDURE TO FOLLOW IN ORDER TO FINALIZE THIS TRANSACTION SUCCESSFULLY.

Please reply through my private email address (mudifee2009@gmail.com)

I EXPECT YOUR URGENT COMMUNICATION.

YOURS SINCERELY,
MR. MUDI FEEZ.

Stop the Presses: A Poem Dedicated to Craig Emerson

So a senior minister parodied Skyhooks' "Horror Movie" in order to ruffle Tony Abbott's feathers about the carbon tax. Yep, only in Australia. Anywho, here's a little something I've whipped up to celebrate Mr Emerson's fine performance.

****

At least uh... polls dot today suggests that uh... the message that you've been

Selling ah... people are buying it's the experience of the common cost will be in 

The living off of there's been the mother of all scared Tam pines the 

Prosecutes a very modest seventy cents in every one hundred dollars or in terms

Of weekly

Household bills nine dollars Nadia week with compensation on average of ten 

Dollars and tend to excite

This has been the mother of all state and times by mister event

But the truth will be in the living of the common price and the truth is that

The pricing text will be very modest in there will be substantial compensation

To get this poll was taken off to some of that compensation has already started

Flowing T_V_ aids of thing hearing

Uh... are you concerned that the uh... the has been a turnaround already well

I'm sure that uh... when people uh... appreciate the modest us modest most of
The prize impacts
Though I will realise that there has been enormous date and time
With crimes that uh... I leg of lamb will cost two hundred dollars that uh...
Paper entire communities
Will be walked off the map uh... alleged in the Illawarra
Honda Valley pilot right valley Portland Quintilian and of course uh... Whyalla and
I was a mileage is just a diaper wireless just fine he's what is the mood
And they had a lot of people notice events at the potential impact of the
Company well this is the mood in my life

Coli Alar wife out there on my clichés you know why a lot like welfare and Mike
To do you know why allow wiped out there on my feet b 
Truck and there are not ready
Jumped in the right out of moderating
   

Hobsons Bay Proposed Budget

Given that I had to write a hard news story for an assignment for uni and given I live in the Hobsons Bay municipality and given that I somehow enjoy this kind of stuff, there follows a reproduction of what I handed in. I don't know whether I excelled or failed, or landed somewhere in between.

****

Cameron Magusic                                                                        #budget                   

24/05/12

Hobsons Bay residents have a higher-than-expected rate rise on their minds.

The credit goes to Hobsons Bay Council and its proposed budget for the 2012/13 financial year, released last month, which authorised an average rise of 6.3 percent. 

Councillors encouraged citizens to have their say on the issue throughout May, with the budget to be formally adopted at the June 26 council meeting.

People were expecting nothing more than a five percent rate rise, said co-convenor of the Hobsons Bay Residents Association Colin Palmer.

"I can’t explain it to them why rates have gone up so much," he said.

"The residents are basically saying, 'Well, what are we getting for this thousand-odd dollars or more that we’re paying?'

"Personally, I can’t see the justification for the average rate rise to be higher than five percent.

The rate rise was a difficult issue for everybody to consider, said Councillor Luba Grigorovitch, representing Altona Meadows Ward.

"Nobody wants to increase the rates, and I know that was one of the last things for us," she said.

"Our rates have always been very low, around four per cent."

In fact, over the past five financial years, rates have increased annually by 5.8 percent on average, according to the proposed budget.

The budget blames the redevelopment of the Williamstown library and the Williamstown Town Hall and the introduction of carbon pricing, among other reasons, for the increase.

While speaking against the increase at the council meeting last month – Cr Grigorovitch had "big issues" with the rise – the upside was a strong infrastructure program, she said.

"At the same time we do have a very big capital works program, and there’s a lot happening."

Mr Palmer acknowledged this, but criticised some big-ticket items – such as the redevelopment of the Williamstown Town Hall – as not being useful.

"It’s all to do with heritage and everything else, but the average person can’t see the benefit to them, I suppose."

Williamstown was seemingly a big winner, but Cr Grigorovitch said this was making up for previous years.

"Williamstown is ageing, so like it or lump it, it’s something that does need a lot of money," she said.

Councillor for Altona North Ward Michael Raffoul wrote in an email that the projects in Williamstown "have been part of an ongoing four year capital works program".

Submissions to the budget close on May 31.

ENDS  

The Joys of Warwick Capper

Contrary to popular belief, Warwick Capper was, and still is, a gift to Australian culture.

The former Sydney Swans and then Brisbane Bears footballer kicked 388 goals in 124 games (from Wiki). He also was a bit of a high flyer, winning Mark of the Year in 1987.

However, he also proved to be what Paul Keating would describe as a "low-altitude flyer". The Wikipedia page has all the deets, but he can be essentially summarised as Australia's answer to Charlie Sheen, David Hasselhoff and Paris Hilton combined. No wonder we complain about creeping Americanism.

Apparently, he produced an adult movie back in 2007. That's all well and good (although this correspondent was not brave enough to venture past the relevant home page) and, as he says, "if you've got it, flaunt it".   

Quite.

But if you peruse the latter link, you will find the man of the moment (indirectly) describing the, ahem, piece as being "tastefully compiled".

Come on. The only porn that is remotely classy (I'm not an addict, I swear) is the "high class British porn" seen on Family Guy.

Exhibit B in this cataloguing of evidence against the man on the charge of delusions of grandeur (I'll explain myself in a minute) is his very brief appearance on Celebrity Apprentice Australia.

He was the first to be sacked in the entire series, after being accused of laziness during a challenge at a car wash.

What was interesting was his response, seen on a blog run by the Herald Sun the day after the elimination.

He seemed to genuinely believe that he was above contempt. When a couple of haters had a go, he replied by pointing that, compared to them, the last time he did real work was 20 years ago.

The penultimate piece of evidence is presented thus: Capper did some ads (if you've seen one you've seen them all) a couple of years ago for a hotel booking chain. It is interesting because the very Australian trait (perhaps all-too-human (gratuitous Nietszche reference (I actually bought a collection of his works last week. I can't wait to get stuck into it.) there) trait) of having a laugh at yourself directly comes up against the what is called in the land of Oz "tall-poppy syndrome" viz., jealousy. The man on the street, therefore (such a stultifying expression) must decide whether his larrikinism outweighs his delusions of grandeur. Ah, yes.

Delusions of grandeur. A superlative phrase. Used to identify anybody who holds themselves in such high esteem as to consider themselves to be, in a word, great. It's odd to mention because we are expected to hold ourselves in a fairly healthy ego. Anyone above or below this vague marker is out of touch, weird. I guess it comes from the fact we pride ourselves being a meritocratic and egalitarian nation. We must follow some ancient guide to living - which, astonishingly, has never actually been made word - otherwise we are cocky, self-absorbed. Colour me self-indulgent (another great term), but surely by looking after the self first and foremost can we get anywhere in life. Instead, according to this great Australian dream, we have to toe the line (which actually means rebelling) when it comes to making a living, just like our fathers and our grandfathers and our great grandfathers, and yea, verily, unto the fourth generation.

Good on Warwick Capper. Good on him for having some fun in his life, when most people at his age end up like one of John Brack's characters in his immortal painting, "Collins St 5pm"

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I reckon Capper could be a candidate as one of Nietzsche's Übermensch. Sure, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed (I'm reeking of Australiana today) but, God, he had some fun when to others life seems a struggle. 

****

Those who have paid attention in this article (and those who are still with me) will recognise that I finished by presenting only a penultimate piece of evidence against (really; for) Warwick Capper. 

I want to bring to your attention a song he has his name next to. It's called "I Only Take What's Mine". If it sounds bad just by the title, you're on the right track. It's bad, it's corny, it's clichéd. This song, however, is the basis behind this whole post. 

****

A friend of mine has on his laptop a program called UltraStar, which is basically SingStar for people tired of life, which itself is a game for people tired of life. I suggested that we get sloshed and then sing this, which is an indication of how tired I may or may not be of life. He said that that was fine, but he wanted me to provide the lyrics, because the modus vivendi of UltraStar is that you can choose your own songs to sing, but you also must provide the lyrics, and then sync the two. 

It only took me a couple of playings to finish it off, and so, what I believe to be the only known copy of the lyrics of Warwick Capper's song "I Only Take What's Mine" on the Internet (all rights reserved, Warwick Capper's work not mine yada yada). I may or may not be 100% right, but I sure am crazy (gratuitous Billy Joel reference there). 

****

*s denote backing chorus

Big heels, fast wheels, I feel them comin’

Side on, climb on, I’m off and runnin’

I know where I am, and I know just where I’m goin’

So don’t push too hard

I got crime

And I’m closer every day, to take what I’ve got comin’

I’m goin’ to fly

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

Take ‘em fast*

Take ‘em slow*

I only take what’s mine

Spotlights, stop lights, I take or leave ‘em

White flies, blue eyes, I don’t believe ‘em

I know what to do

And I know I’m goin’ to make it

And it’s all so easy

It ain’t fair

And I’m warnin’ you

If it’s there, I’m goin’ to take it

I’m goin’ to fly

I only take what’s mine

And I’m closer every day, to take what I’ve got comin’

I’m goin’ to fly

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

Take ‘em fast*

Take ‘em slow*

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

Take ‘em fast*

Take ‘em slow*

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

     

A Sequel

Well, the time has come. Forget about post-modernism, here comes the post-Blogspot world.

If you're wondering what I'm going on about (nothing new, I assure you) then let me reveal my news.

I darkly hinted at producing a blog on another site (cough, cough, Tumblr) for a uni assignment.

The blog is called The Rise of the Chindian Century, and surprisingly enough, that is what it deals with.

Enjoy

Just Putting it Out There

Machine Head by Deep Purple is the greatest album of all time.

Am I wrong?

A Quote, or Two

Because I'm that sort of guy, I follow a Twitterer with the handle PhiloQuotes (no, not quotes from famous Filipini) (and no, not Nicholas Tonti-Fillipini, even though he has a great name)

Across my virtual desk came the following:
There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. ~ Saint Thomas Aquinas


Apparently ol' St Thom did a lot of things, which is not really the point of this post. Cue tangential discussion about tangents, kindling &c


Anywho, what if a letter was changed in the quote above to reveal:
There is nothing on this earth more to be prised than true friendship. ~ Saint Thomas Aquinas


Given the somewhat murky relationship between s and z (a future post?), it either says a lot about the real value of "true friendship" and 

****

Look, why would anyone want to build up a "true friendship" over time just to "prise" it? Anyone besides me, I mean. 

There is nothing, logically speaking, to indicate the "real" value of a "true friendship" - that's a matter for our judgment to decide on over a long-term period. (Surely even Hume would have trouble casting the sense-impression of "true friendship" to the flames.) Indeed, the test of a "true friendship" could be that which you decide to "prise" off, but somehow, I don't think so. (I will have to write about The Footy Show one of these days.)

The only logical possibilities are that you either do not value truth, friendship, or true friendships. The first is not that unreasonable (contradictions, contradictions everywhere) (my word that was wordy) (gee these parentheses are starting to get annoying) (Dear Mr Magusic, your blog posts are far too extraneous, as opposed to my extremely short fake pseudo-letter, yours &c) 

****

Let me try that again. 

The first is not that unreasonable (...), the second would be indicative of your status as a misanthrope (not a case of anti-misanthropism, but it does tend to get rather lonely at times) and the third would be a sort-of inability to be able to form good bonds with people (if you like getting then fleeced all the time, then c'est la vie) 

****

The above discussion was almost pointless. I did, however, get to demonstrate what a smarty-pants I can be. That's why I have so many friends.

If you expected discussion on substantive issues, well, I'm sorry that I've ripped you off like the old Nigerian prince trick. The upside is, you still have your money. 

Thank God you're here

A Tribute to the Footy Show

You may think something dedicated to such a show would be a) short and b) full of crap
Well this little number has none of the former and plenty of the latter

****

Algebra come father of the area where you just have to have kids who are

Probably not draw that lasted over it

Disputes will be the right in the same

And then for resource for the white house island father

So when I read in the store information that may be

Jury the show you know if it’s not one of the civility basically al

Uh… al

Sale of mystery

Except they get kaizen this is the this easy

At the first letter is the hundreds of patient dismantling soon without a

Permit to light the candles you can take an impediment to like these

Did you know that must be really has

This is the dresses the system strangely

Well released

This is the hundreds of times and we’ve had a look alikes indian of camera links

A

Hence the red numbers this end

Be a very him ahead of your bid trying to come by the settlers

But I think that’s one of us and also I guess I want to do this by putting upon

Uh…

Astonished

From but it up on that uh…

But we’re going to show up walk-through look alike will hang on the go-ahead

Without the help of I don’t know yet

And struggles within hours after the event

Where is the world

That this is it

Destructive

Cannot

A moderating their nothing out there everything but

Yes

Excellent haley said

This letter one

I know that there’s no one will be the first one has asserted by t_v_call in

Negative calendars place we father used to play for the kelly hearing

And he said the same

Face it

I have met the lead of art

Fast

Well I think it’s a

Rob didn’t give a damn I designed

Helpful at all

Launched

Okie

Contemplating how he said this theatre

Mississippi state

Here

About the story that that the food since the discovery of

Uh… at the moment so that we can offer magazine right now and the second letter

The presence of the city CV

Services you carrying two fifty is the first to Jim from Estelle Richman

Deus amunc

I am and always will be a big fan of giant racial he is in my opinion the

Mayan style is shown should be given some sort of a wall of having to put up

With you

With you your dumbass antics and Gerry the humbug humbert

Uh… like this

She sent me

Could you please present him with

The impose T-shirt for older brother she has to put up with from Youtube Clarence

R list of the cisco joining

Do you get a hold of separation where do we

Dissecting the change you know this from Alex

Of to Mr

And is for Gerry royalties and so this at the barn by emphasise reason

Immediately thought of your kind of a scary line I’m sure he’ll love it

Neighbours did

This is a paralegal asylum are invited Mrs Renee

The world

C_D_-ROM attention-getter got it

Really love affair there are now this is

Now that I have a family of one references of proof

C_N_N Linda reportedly from cold by the sex of the Simpson went back

And brighten and Chelsea of Hampton Park here’s a pic titan of Craig Hutchison

At McDonnell’s from getting weeks ago

Nor is this book

Now we’re in

Decision here rotation

Now it doesn’t seem here

Members in here

Swear we tried to work it out

Very much looks like

You think he looks like

Seven

Very desirable

Institution lives with me

Habits from Boston pass heritage side to get this is Congress marash’s set-up

Lesson bestseller from this is an elaborate

He’s getting everyone wants and that’s what this is the lead reforms realises

That he’s just not

Stood three weeks ago here

Depicted but now I now this is that this is not placed very this is your memory

And India

This is any from grace period that

It’s his birthday it was his birthday to die on thirty days seven days shy

Understanding

This week as well

Place I know I thank you for Mandy now it’s any from straight talk straight

That you remember any necessary

Teamster Cooper Felicia

What more can we expect to I have to meet me at the same strippers forward

Excretory giving it a couple of drinks lucent assume supplement

Of immigrants coming up with some

Saying you have

Police on may have history is yes send them with the

Garcia come up with him all things

Okay decided to see the so it’s very good

Stepped up my to cover probably decides to go to prison for senior citizens

Who are awful

And and uh… people

One of brutally repressed loft

Commenting on that

Ho-hum

Uh… side started telling evidence of a sudden the U_S_ judge all the reaction

Will be prosecuted outpaces forgotten festa

That’s it

What’s at Sonya warns that global we’re trying to perfect one of the

Distrustful without Simpson

And if we could not survive

Hahahahahaha Bacchus

But for some rain past nine ten

Shangri-la like a fellowship is formatted magneto

About what led to his birthday and it’s his first and not by putting some argue

This

How do you know contributed as I long as I want to start wrote

Unfortunately fatwa

Reckon Batman applauded

Activities beautiful segments we’re going to advise I heard from you

Everyone’s model

Send-off I’ll let you know I mean it dot com dot I use it Gerry reminder for you

Israel until something better for you

An issue that I wanted them in a motion picture it