Hobsons Bay Proposed Budget

Given that I had to write a hard news story for an assignment for uni and given I live in the Hobsons Bay municipality and given that I somehow enjoy this kind of stuff, there follows a reproduction of what I handed in. I don't know whether I excelled or failed, or landed somewhere in between.

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Cameron Magusic                                                                        #budget                   

24/05/12

Hobsons Bay residents have a higher-than-expected rate rise on their minds.

The credit goes to Hobsons Bay Council and its proposed budget for the 2012/13 financial year, released last month, which authorised an average rise of 6.3 percent. 

Councillors encouraged citizens to have their say on the issue throughout May, with the budget to be formally adopted at the June 26 council meeting.

People were expecting nothing more than a five percent rate rise, said co-convenor of the Hobsons Bay Residents Association Colin Palmer.

"I can’t explain it to them why rates have gone up so much," he said.

"The residents are basically saying, 'Well, what are we getting for this thousand-odd dollars or more that we’re paying?'

"Personally, I can’t see the justification for the average rate rise to be higher than five percent.

The rate rise was a difficult issue for everybody to consider, said Councillor Luba Grigorovitch, representing Altona Meadows Ward.

"Nobody wants to increase the rates, and I know that was one of the last things for us," she said.

"Our rates have always been very low, around four per cent."

In fact, over the past five financial years, rates have increased annually by 5.8 percent on average, according to the proposed budget.

The budget blames the redevelopment of the Williamstown library and the Williamstown Town Hall and the introduction of carbon pricing, among other reasons, for the increase.

While speaking against the increase at the council meeting last month – Cr Grigorovitch had "big issues" with the rise – the upside was a strong infrastructure program, she said.

"At the same time we do have a very big capital works program, and there’s a lot happening."

Mr Palmer acknowledged this, but criticised some big-ticket items – such as the redevelopment of the Williamstown Town Hall – as not being useful.

"It’s all to do with heritage and everything else, but the average person can’t see the benefit to them, I suppose."

Williamstown was seemingly a big winner, but Cr Grigorovitch said this was making up for previous years.

"Williamstown is ageing, so like it or lump it, it’s something that does need a lot of money," she said.

Councillor for Altona North Ward Michael Raffoul wrote in an email that the projects in Williamstown "have been part of an ongoing four year capital works program".

Submissions to the budget close on May 31.

ENDS  

The Joys of Warwick Capper

Contrary to popular belief, Warwick Capper was, and still is, a gift to Australian culture.

The former Sydney Swans and then Brisbane Bears footballer kicked 388 goals in 124 games (from Wiki). He also was a bit of a high flyer, winning Mark of the Year in 1987.

However, he also proved to be what Paul Keating would describe as a "low-altitude flyer". The Wikipedia page has all the deets, but he can be essentially summarised as Australia's answer to Charlie Sheen, David Hasselhoff and Paris Hilton combined. No wonder we complain about creeping Americanism.

Apparently, he produced an adult movie back in 2007. That's all well and good (although this correspondent was not brave enough to venture past the relevant home page) and, as he says, "if you've got it, flaunt it".   

Quite.

But if you peruse the latter link, you will find the man of the moment (indirectly) describing the, ahem, piece as being "tastefully compiled".

Come on. The only porn that is remotely classy (I'm not an addict, I swear) is the "high class British porn" seen on Family Guy.

Exhibit B in this cataloguing of evidence against the man on the charge of delusions of grandeur (I'll explain myself in a minute) is his very brief appearance on Celebrity Apprentice Australia.

He was the first to be sacked in the entire series, after being accused of laziness during a challenge at a car wash.

What was interesting was his response, seen on a blog run by the Herald Sun the day after the elimination.

He seemed to genuinely believe that he was above contempt. When a couple of haters had a go, he replied by pointing that, compared to them, the last time he did real work was 20 years ago.

The penultimate piece of evidence is presented thus: Capper did some ads (if you've seen one you've seen them all) a couple of years ago for a hotel booking chain. It is interesting because the very Australian trait (perhaps all-too-human (gratuitous Nietszche reference (I actually bought a collection of his works last week. I can't wait to get stuck into it.) there) trait) of having a laugh at yourself directly comes up against the what is called in the land of Oz "tall-poppy syndrome" viz., jealousy. The man on the street, therefore (such a stultifying expression) must decide whether his larrikinism outweighs his delusions of grandeur. Ah, yes.

Delusions of grandeur. A superlative phrase. Used to identify anybody who holds themselves in such high esteem as to consider themselves to be, in a word, great. It's odd to mention because we are expected to hold ourselves in a fairly healthy ego. Anyone above or below this vague marker is out of touch, weird. I guess it comes from the fact we pride ourselves being a meritocratic and egalitarian nation. We must follow some ancient guide to living - which, astonishingly, has never actually been made word - otherwise we are cocky, self-absorbed. Colour me self-indulgent (another great term), but surely by looking after the self first and foremost can we get anywhere in life. Instead, according to this great Australian dream, we have to toe the line (which actually means rebelling) when it comes to making a living, just like our fathers and our grandfathers and our great grandfathers, and yea, verily, unto the fourth generation.

Good on Warwick Capper. Good on him for having some fun in his life, when most people at his age end up like one of John Brack's characters in his immortal painting, "Collins St 5pm"

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I reckon Capper could be a candidate as one of Nietzsche's Übermensch. Sure, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed (I'm reeking of Australiana today) but, God, he had some fun when to others life seems a struggle. 

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Those who have paid attention in this article (and those who are still with me) will recognise that I finished by presenting only a penultimate piece of evidence against (really; for) Warwick Capper. 

I want to bring to your attention a song he has his name next to. It's called "I Only Take What's Mine". If it sounds bad just by the title, you're on the right track. It's bad, it's corny, it's clichéd. This song, however, is the basis behind this whole post. 

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A friend of mine has on his laptop a program called UltraStar, which is basically SingStar for people tired of life, which itself is a game for people tired of life. I suggested that we get sloshed and then sing this, which is an indication of how tired I may or may not be of life. He said that that was fine, but he wanted me to provide the lyrics, because the modus vivendi of UltraStar is that you can choose your own songs to sing, but you also must provide the lyrics, and then sync the two. 

It only took me a couple of playings to finish it off, and so, what I believe to be the only known copy of the lyrics of Warwick Capper's song "I Only Take What's Mine" on the Internet (all rights reserved, Warwick Capper's work not mine yada yada). I may or may not be 100% right, but I sure am crazy (gratuitous Billy Joel reference there). 

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*s denote backing chorus

Big heels, fast wheels, I feel them comin’

Side on, climb on, I’m off and runnin’

I know where I am, and I know just where I’m goin’

So don’t push too hard

I got crime

And I’m closer every day, to take what I’ve got comin’

I’m goin’ to fly

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

Take ‘em fast*

Take ‘em slow*

I only take what’s mine

Spotlights, stop lights, I take or leave ‘em

White flies, blue eyes, I don’t believe ‘em

I know what to do

And I know I’m goin’ to make it

And it’s all so easy

It ain’t fair

And I’m warnin’ you

If it’s there, I’m goin’ to take it

I’m goin’ to fly

I only take what’s mine

And I’m closer every day, to take what I’ve got comin’

I’m goin’ to fly

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

Take ‘em fast*

Take ‘em slow*

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

Take ‘em fast*

Take ‘em slow*

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

     

A Sequel

Well, the time has come. Forget about post-modernism, here comes the post-Blogspot world.

If you're wondering what I'm going on about (nothing new, I assure you) then let me reveal my news.

I darkly hinted at producing a blog on another site (cough, cough, Tumblr) for a uni assignment.

The blog is called The Rise of the Chindian Century, and surprisingly enough, that is what it deals with.

Enjoy

Just Putting it Out There

Machine Head by Deep Purple is the greatest album of all time.

Am I wrong?

A Quote, or Two

Because I'm that sort of guy, I follow a Twitterer with the handle PhiloQuotes (no, not quotes from famous Filipini) (and no, not Nicholas Tonti-Fillipini, even though he has a great name)

Across my virtual desk came the following:
There is nothing on this earth more to be prized than true friendship. ~ Saint Thomas Aquinas


Apparently ol' St Thom did a lot of things, which is not really the point of this post. Cue tangential discussion about tangents, kindling &c


Anywho, what if a letter was changed in the quote above to reveal:
There is nothing on this earth more to be prised than true friendship. ~ Saint Thomas Aquinas


Given the somewhat murky relationship between s and z (a future post?), it either says a lot about the real value of "true friendship" and 

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Look, why would anyone want to build up a "true friendship" over time just to "prise" it? Anyone besides me, I mean. 

There is nothing, logically speaking, to indicate the "real" value of a "true friendship" - that's a matter for our judgment to decide on over a long-term period. (Surely even Hume would have trouble casting the sense-impression of "true friendship" to the flames.) Indeed, the test of a "true friendship" could be that which you decide to "prise" off, but somehow, I don't think so. (I will have to write about The Footy Show one of these days.)

The only logical possibilities are that you either do not value truth, friendship, or true friendships. The first is not that unreasonable (contradictions, contradictions everywhere) (my word that was wordy) (gee these parentheses are starting to get annoying) (Dear Mr Magusic, your blog posts are far too extraneous, as opposed to my extremely short fake pseudo-letter, yours &c) 

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Let me try that again. 

The first is not that unreasonable (...), the second would be indicative of your status as a misanthrope (not a case of anti-misanthropism, but it does tend to get rather lonely at times) and the third would be a sort-of inability to be able to form good bonds with people (if you like getting then fleeced all the time, then c'est la vie) 

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The above discussion was almost pointless. I did, however, get to demonstrate what a smarty-pants I can be. That's why I have so many friends.

If you expected discussion on substantive issues, well, I'm sorry that I've ripped you off like the old Nigerian prince trick. The upside is, you still have your money. 

Thank God you're here

A Tribute to the Footy Show

You may think something dedicated to such a show would be a) short and b) full of crap
Well this little number has none of the former and plenty of the latter

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Uh… al

Sale of mystery

Except they get kaizen this is the this easy

At the first letter is the hundreds of patient dismantling soon without a

Permit to light the candles you can take an impediment to like these

Did you know that must be really has

This is the dresses the system strangely

Well released

This is the hundreds of times and we’ve had a look alikes indian of camera links

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Hence the red numbers this end

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But I think that’s one of us and also I guess I want to do this by putting upon

Uh…

Astonished

From but it up on that uh…

But we’re going to show up walk-through look alike will hang on the go-ahead

Without the help of I don’t know yet

And struggles within hours after the event

Where is the world

That this is it

Destructive

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Yes

Excellent haley said

This letter one

I know that there’s no one will be the first one has asserted by t_v_call in

Negative calendars place we father used to play for the kelly hearing

And he said the same

Face it

I have met the lead of art

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Well I think it’s a

Rob didn’t give a damn I designed

Helpful at all

Launched

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Contemplating how he said this theatre

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About the story that that the food since the discovery of

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The presence of the city CV

Services you carrying two fifty is the first to Jim from Estelle Richman

Deus amunc

I am and always will be a big fan of giant racial he is in my opinion the

Mayan style is shown should be given some sort of a wall of having to put up

With you

With you your dumbass antics and Gerry the humbug humbert

Uh… like this

She sent me

Could you please present him with

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Dissecting the change you know this from Alex

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And is for Gerry royalties and so this at the barn by emphasise reason

Immediately thought of your kind of a scary line I’m sure he’ll love it

Neighbours did

This is a paralegal asylum are invited Mrs Renee

The world

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Really love affair there are now this is

Now that I have a family of one references of proof

C_N_N Linda reportedly from cold by the sex of the Simpson went back

And brighten and Chelsea of Hampton Park here’s a pic titan of Craig Hutchison

At McDonnell’s from getting weeks ago

Nor is this book

Now we’re in

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Now it doesn’t seem here

Members in here

Swear we tried to work it out

Very much looks like

You think he looks like

Seven

Very desirable

Institution lives with me

Habits from Boston pass heritage side to get this is Congress marash’s set-up

Lesson bestseller from this is an elaborate

He’s getting everyone wants and that’s what this is the lead reforms realises

That he’s just not

Stood three weeks ago here

Depicted but now I now this is that this is not placed very this is your memory

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This is any from grace period that

It’s his birthday it was his birthday to die on thirty days seven days shy

Understanding

This week as well

Place I know I thank you for Mandy now it’s any from straight talk straight

That you remember any necessary

Teamster Cooper Felicia

What more can we expect to I have to meet me at the same strippers forward

Excretory giving it a couple of drinks lucent assume supplement

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Saying you have

Police on may have history is yes send them with the

Garcia come up with him all things

Okay decided to see the so it’s very good

Stepped up my to cover probably decides to go to prison for senior citizens

Who are awful

And and uh… people

One of brutally repressed loft

Commenting on that

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Uh… side started telling evidence of a sudden the U_S_ judge all the reaction

Will be prosecuted outpaces forgotten festa

That’s it

What’s at Sonya warns that global we’re trying to perfect one of the

Distrustful without Simpson

And if we could not survive

Hahahahahaha Bacchus

But for some rain past nine ten

Shangri-la like a fellowship is formatted magneto

About what led to his birthday and it’s his first and not by putting some argue

This

How do you know contributed as I long as I want to start wrote

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Reckon Batman applauded

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Everyone’s model

Send-off I’ll let you know I mean it dot com dot I use it Gerry reminder for you

Israel until something better for you

An issue that I wanted them in a motion picture it

Brett Kirk, Buddhism and An Annoucement

In an industry where the valued labour resembles something out of a Monty Python sketch, it is great that someone of the calibre of Brett Kirk would devoted his services in order to enlighten the populace of what I'm sure are the many intricacies of AFL. Kirk is an enlightened man himself, and not just because he is a practicing Buddhist, but also because he co-captained his Sydney Swans to a premiership in 2005. "Captain Kirk" now of course rides the boundary (rides hard or hardly rides?) for Channel 7 on Saturday arvos.

It has been about a month since Kirk found fame on the internets as a "weirdo". Look, I won't deny I am a bit of a smarty-pants, so I really don't have any credibility, but, but, bahtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt

Good on him for trying to bring something a bit different. There's nothing wrong with changing it up a little bit. But watching footy - or almost any sport - is one of the most tangible ways of espousing conservatism. You want a good contest between two relatively-even sides. You don't want "quasi-intellectual corporate speech" (taken from a commenter). A sports watcher just can't handle perverse outside forces on game day. That's why people lock themselves up in the "man cave" (nothing subtle at all) like it's the apocalypse - the intellectualism that Kirk brought with those comments was too much for them. I haven't watched "Saturday arvo" footy since then to see if Kirky responded - one newspaper article suggested he was receiving "help" in his on-camera performance - because apart from the whingeing about the Tigers to anyone who'll listen, footy doesn't much concern me. If you've seen one match, you've seen them all. People go for one reason, and one reason alone: to get blind drunk.

Well, hang on, isn't that the modus vivendi behind most of the things that people do? It's either that, or getting laid. Hmmm, if only one could find the real reason that people go to AFL matches? Could it be to support their teams? Far too obvious, my good man

If Kirk was well-endowed in the chest region, the feedback might have been different. As it is, Kirk must rely on his well-endowed soul - by way of his Buddhistism - to get past this adversity.

Moving forward, Australians

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The Announcement: I may or may not be somewhat less active on this blog in the next few weeks (the crowd goes mild) as I will be focussing on another blog for an assignment. It will detail the rise of China and India in the Asian Century. I will be setting up either a Wordpress or a Tumblr because Blogspot (with all due respect, of course) is somewhat lacking in the design department. It's either that, or I'm a crap designer.  I'll give you all the news as it comes to hand. 

      

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