Hobsons Bay Proposed Budget

Given that I had to write a hard news story for an assignment for uni and given I live in the Hobsons Bay municipality and given that I somehow enjoy this kind of stuff, there follows a reproduction of what I handed in. I don't know whether I excelled or failed, or landed somewhere in between.

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Cameron Magusic                                                                        #budget                   

24/05/12

Hobsons Bay residents have a higher-than-expected rate rise on their minds.

The credit goes to Hobsons Bay Council and its proposed budget for the 2012/13 financial year, released last month, which authorised an average rise of 6.3 percent. 

Councillors encouraged citizens to have their say on the issue throughout May, with the budget to be formally adopted at the June 26 council meeting.

People were expecting nothing more than a five percent rate rise, said co-convenor of the Hobsons Bay Residents Association Colin Palmer.

"I can’t explain it to them why rates have gone up so much," he said.

"The residents are basically saying, 'Well, what are we getting for this thousand-odd dollars or more that we’re paying?'

"Personally, I can’t see the justification for the average rate rise to be higher than five percent.

The rate rise was a difficult issue for everybody to consider, said Councillor Luba Grigorovitch, representing Altona Meadows Ward.

"Nobody wants to increase the rates, and I know that was one of the last things for us," she said.

"Our rates have always been very low, around four per cent."

In fact, over the past five financial years, rates have increased annually by 5.8 percent on average, according to the proposed budget.

The budget blames the redevelopment of the Williamstown library and the Williamstown Town Hall and the introduction of carbon pricing, among other reasons, for the increase.

While speaking against the increase at the council meeting last month – Cr Grigorovitch had "big issues" with the rise – the upside was a strong infrastructure program, she said.

"At the same time we do have a very big capital works program, and there’s a lot happening."

Mr Palmer acknowledged this, but criticised some big-ticket items – such as the redevelopment of the Williamstown Town Hall – as not being useful.

"It’s all to do with heritage and everything else, but the average person can’t see the benefit to them, I suppose."

Williamstown was seemingly a big winner, but Cr Grigorovitch said this was making up for previous years.

"Williamstown is ageing, so like it or lump it, it’s something that does need a lot of money," she said.

Councillor for Altona North Ward Michael Raffoul wrote in an email that the projects in Williamstown "have been part of an ongoing four year capital works program".

Submissions to the budget close on May 31.

ENDS  

The Joys of Warwick Capper

Contrary to popular belief, Warwick Capper was, and still is, a gift to Australian culture.

The former Sydney Swans and then Brisbane Bears footballer kicked 388 goals in 124 games (from Wiki). He also was a bit of a high flyer, winning Mark of the Year in 1987.

However, he also proved to be what Paul Keating would describe as a "low-altitude flyer". The Wikipedia page has all the deets, but he can be essentially summarised as Australia's answer to Charlie Sheen, David Hasselhoff and Paris Hilton combined. No wonder we complain about creeping Americanism.

Apparently, he produced an adult movie back in 2007. That's all well and good (although this correspondent was not brave enough to venture past the relevant home page) and, as he says, "if you've got it, flaunt it".   

Quite.

But if you peruse the latter link, you will find the man of the moment (indirectly) describing the, ahem, piece as being "tastefully compiled".

Come on. The only porn that is remotely classy (I'm not an addict, I swear) is the "high class British porn" seen on Family Guy.

Exhibit B in this cataloguing of evidence against the man on the charge of delusions of grandeur (I'll explain myself in a minute) is his very brief appearance on Celebrity Apprentice Australia.

He was the first to be sacked in the entire series, after being accused of laziness during a challenge at a car wash.

What was interesting was his response, seen on a blog run by the Herald Sun the day after the elimination.

He seemed to genuinely believe that he was above contempt. When a couple of haters had a go, he replied by pointing that, compared to them, the last time he did real work was 20 years ago.

The penultimate piece of evidence is presented thus: Capper did some ads (if you've seen one you've seen them all) a couple of years ago for a hotel booking chain. It is interesting because the very Australian trait (perhaps all-too-human (gratuitous Nietszche reference (I actually bought a collection of his works last week. I can't wait to get stuck into it.) there) trait) of having a laugh at yourself directly comes up against the what is called in the land of Oz "tall-poppy syndrome" viz., jealousy. The man on the street, therefore (such a stultifying expression) must decide whether his larrikinism outweighs his delusions of grandeur. Ah, yes.

Delusions of grandeur. A superlative phrase. Used to identify anybody who holds themselves in such high esteem as to consider themselves to be, in a word, great. It's odd to mention because we are expected to hold ourselves in a fairly healthy ego. Anyone above or below this vague marker is out of touch, weird. I guess it comes from the fact we pride ourselves being a meritocratic and egalitarian nation. We must follow some ancient guide to living - which, astonishingly, has never actually been made word - otherwise we are cocky, self-absorbed. Colour me self-indulgent (another great term), but surely by looking after the self first and foremost can we get anywhere in life. Instead, according to this great Australian dream, we have to toe the line (which actually means rebelling) when it comes to making a living, just like our fathers and our grandfathers and our great grandfathers, and yea, verily, unto the fourth generation.

Good on Warwick Capper. Good on him for having some fun in his life, when most people at his age end up like one of John Brack's characters in his immortal painting, "Collins St 5pm"

I'm going to go out on a limb here, but I reckon Capper could be a candidate as one of Nietzsche's Übermensch. Sure, he's not the sharpest tool in the shed (I'm reeking of Australiana today) but, God, he had some fun when to others life seems a struggle. 

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Those who have paid attention in this article (and those who are still with me) will recognise that I finished by presenting only a penultimate piece of evidence against (really; for) Warwick Capper. 

I want to bring to your attention a song he has his name next to. It's called "I Only Take What's Mine". If it sounds bad just by the title, you're on the right track. It's bad, it's corny, it's clichéd. This song, however, is the basis behind this whole post. 

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A friend of mine has on his laptop a program called UltraStar, which is basically SingStar for people tired of life, which itself is a game for people tired of life. I suggested that we get sloshed and then sing this, which is an indication of how tired I may or may not be of life. He said that that was fine, but he wanted me to provide the lyrics, because the modus vivendi of UltraStar is that you can choose your own songs to sing, but you also must provide the lyrics, and then sync the two. 

It only took me a couple of playings to finish it off, and so, what I believe to be the only known copy of the lyrics of Warwick Capper's song "I Only Take What's Mine" on the Internet (all rights reserved, Warwick Capper's work not mine yada yada). I may or may not be 100% right, but I sure am crazy (gratuitous Billy Joel reference there). 

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*s denote backing chorus

Big heels, fast wheels, I feel them comin’

Side on, climb on, I’m off and runnin’

I know where I am, and I know just where I’m goin’

So don’t push too hard

I got crime

And I’m closer every day, to take what I’ve got comin’

I’m goin’ to fly

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

Take ‘em fast*

Take ‘em slow*

I only take what’s mine

Spotlights, stop lights, I take or leave ‘em

White flies, blue eyes, I don’t believe ‘em

I know what to do

And I know I’m goin’ to make it

And it’s all so easy

It ain’t fair

And I’m warnin’ you

If it’s there, I’m goin’ to take it

I’m goin’ to fly

I only take what’s mine

And I’m closer every day, to take what I’ve got comin’

I’m goin’ to fly

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

Take ‘em fast*

Take ‘em slow*

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time

Take ‘em fast*

Take ‘em slow*

I only take what’s mine

Take ‘em high*

Take ‘em low*

Oh oh, I do it all the time